Jessica Nargiso, PhD

Creating a Safe Home Environment After Rehab

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If you or a loved one have gone through a program in a drug or alcohol rehabilitation center, you know that much of the time spent in rehab focuses on preparing you for your move back home. This can be a dangerous and scary transition if you’re unprepared. Although throughout your stay in rehab you’ve accomplished many things and overcome serious and difficult hurdles, the toughest challenges lie ahead.

Returning home will make you want to settle into familiar routines, which would be a perilous mistake. When you consider that most relapses take place only weeks after leaving rehab, you can value the importance of making immediate changes to accommodate your new, healthier lifestyle.

Clean Up

If possible, have a friend or loved one remove all drugs, alcohol and paraphernalia from your home before you return. If this isn’t possible, recruit a sober friend or your sponsor to help you clean up as soon as you get home. There may also be other reminders or triggers of your former lifestyle in your home. Throw or give these away. Take the time to clean your home and make it comfortable and cozy. Rearrange furniture or change décor to refresh your place as much as possible.

Locate a Support Group

There are lots of sources for continued support for your life after rehab. Seek out an individual therapist you can meet with on a regular basis, find support groups with like-minded individuals, or start attending a local 12-step meeting.

Find New Friends

Immediately delete contacts of friends from your former way of life. It’s vital for those in recovery to make new, sober friends. The temptations and cues to use will drop if you’re surrounded by other sober people. To maintain your sobriety, it’s also important to identify and cut out negative or toxic people from your life. Recovery means creating a more positive and healthy life for yourself, and that includes choosing the people you surround yourself with.

 

Recovering from addiction will probably be one of the most difficult challenges you’ll ever face. This is a lifelong process and commitment and one that’s not without bumps along the road. But by taking it one day at a time, you’ll acquire strength from every passing moment of sobriety.

If you need help staying on a sober path after rehab, a licensed professional can help. Give my office a call today so we can schedule a time to talk.

Filed Under: Addiction

What Causes Insomnia? 15 Key Culprits

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If you’re someone who spends most of the night tossing and turning and checking the time on the clock, you’re definitely not alone. According to the National Institutes of Health, close to 20% of Americans suffer from some kind of sleep disorder. That’s a lot of people walking around cranky and groggy!

Symptoms of Insomnia

People troubled by insomnia experience difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or getting back to sleep when they wake up at a very early hour. These sleep disturbances cause stress and anxiety, and make every day activities like working, remembering, and thinking clearly very challenging. Insomnia also typically causes irritability and fatigue. Persistent insomnia may also be a contributing factor of depression.

Causes of Insomnia

Insomnia is a complex condition that is still being studied. So far we do know that there are certain conditions that make people more prone to insomnia:

– Age – people over 60 are more susceptible

– Gender – females, on average, are more susceptible

– A history of depression can make you more susceptible 

The main culprits of insomnia are:

– Jet lag

– Shift work

– Anxiety

– Grief

– Depression

– Stress

– Stimulants like nicotine, caffeine, and alcohol taken too soon before bed

– An overactive thyroid

– Steroid use

– Certain prescription medications (if you’re currently taking any, speak with your doctor about insomnia side effects)

– Restless leg syndrome

– Menopause and hot flashes

– Gastrointestinal conditions such as heartburn

– Conditions that make it hard to breathe like asthma and sleep apnea

– Chronic pain

As I mentioned, depression is one of the most common causes of chronic insomnia. In these cases, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help. CBT targets the thoughts and actions that are disrupting your sleep night after night. This therapeutic strategy encourages good sleep habits while relieving anxiety.

Some therapists may use a combination of relaxation therapy and biofeedback to reduce anxiety in clients. Others may employ different strategies like breathwork and positive thinking.

Therapists recognize that each client is an individual with individual needs. One-on-one talking therapy will help a therapist determine the specific causes – in some cases there may be multiple culprits – and put together a comprehensive strategy for relief.

If you are suffering from insomnia and would like to explore cognitive behavioral therapy, please get in touch with me. I’d be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help you get the rest you need.

Filed Under: General

5 Ways to Recharge Your Energy After a Rough Day

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Few things zap your energy the way a stressful day can. Stress is known to reduce our levels of serotonin and dopamine, neurotransmitters that play an important role in our mood, energy and motivation. After a difficult day, you might be tempted to lounge on the couch watching TV until it’s time to go to bed. Although it might feel good in the moment, it won’t give you the mood and energy lift you need after a rough day. Here are five simple ways you can recharge yourself.

1. Unplug

After a stress-filled day, you need to unwind—and that means turning off your phone for some much-needed “me” time. It can be tempting to sit on the couch with your phone all night, checking emails, responding to texts, or getting lost on Facebook or Instagram.

Unplug. Turn your phone off and put it in a drawer in a room in your house that’s out of the way, or leave it in your car. Don’t touch it again until after you’ve had a good night’s rest.

2. Go Outside

If the sun is still out after your rough day, put on your comfy shoes and go for a quick walk. Exposure to the sunlight will help your brain release serotonin, which will boost your mood and help you feel calm and focused. Exercise is also one of the best ways you can improve your mood, helping you relieve stress and sleep better at night. Even if the sun is down, a walk outside will still help, as the exercise and fresh air will help you feel invigorated.

3. Refresh Yourself

After a tough day, take the time to refresh yourself by taking a 45-minute nap. A quick 5 or 10-minute meditation session can also help lift you up. Use your phone to find a guided meditation on YouTube, or play some relaxing music while you meditate quietly for a few minutes. You can also pamper yourself with a bubble bath, or if you need something more uplifting, take a quick shower. Before you get out of the shower, splash some ice cold water in your face; the chill will refresh you and wake you up.

4. Eat Healthy

A healthy dinner or snack is just the thing you need after a rough day. Avoid comfort foods that will leave you feeling sluggish. Instead, fuel your body with protein, fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. These foods will slowly release energy into your bloodstream, and you’ll likely get a mental boost as well from the feel-good result of eating healthy.

5. Make Plans

Looking forward to something is a great way to boost your mood long-term. Plan a vacation, a weekend getaway, or just a day trip. Even planning a special meal, or a visit to a new bar or restaurant will help; give yourself something to look forward to.

 

Are you struggling to maintain your energy levels? Is stress causing you to feel tired, anxious or depressed? A licensed therapist can help you find ways to manage stressful situations. Call my office today and let’s schedule a time to talk.

Filed Under: General

3 Signs Social Media Is Hindering Your Happiness

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How long has it been since you checked your Facebook page or Twitter account? If you’re like most people, you use social media many times throughout the day.

But while you may think social media is fun, studies have suggested that it can take a toll on our emotions. One such study by researchers at the University of Missouri focused on the effects of Facebook on mental health. They discovered that regular use could lead to symptoms of depression if the site triggered feelings of envy in the user.

Professor Margaret Duffy, a co-author of the research, said about the findings, “If it is used as a way to size up one’s own accomplishments against others, it can have a negative effect.”

Other studies have revealed that most people tend to edit photos and only show the ones that make their lives seem more attractive to others.

It is this constant measuring of ourselves against others that causes unimaginable amounts of grief. I see it on an almost-daily basis. Decent people with much to offer feeling unworthy of happiness because they feel inferior to others. They walk into my office with what appears to be the weight of the world on their shoulders.

I have found much of this weight stems from not feeling as “good, smart, pretty, wealthy, or funny” as others.

If you are now wondering whether maybe your happiness has taken a hit from social media use, here are 5 signs it has:

1.  You Need Positive Feedback to Feel Good

Let’s face it, we all love feeling appreciated. It feels good to get that positive feedback when you post a photo or event from your life. But if you find you only have good days on the days you are getting that positive feedback online, you may be depending on social media too much.

2.  You’re an Instant Gratification Addict

We have become a society of people who seek out instant gratification. While it’s okay to want instant oats and instant movie streaming, having a need to instantly feel worthy and good through social media is very harmful.

If the promise of instant gratification is driving your desire to post or share bits of your life, you may have become too dependent.

3.  You’re Reliving the Popularity Contests All Over Again

I find many of my adult clients care just as much about how many Facebook friends and likes they get as my teenage clients do. It’s as if the adults are reliving the high school popularity contests all over again. At the end of the day, are all of those Facebook friends reallyyour friend?

True happiness is having authentic connections with the loved ones in your life. If you’re paying too much attention to how many online friends you have and not enough on whether or not your face-to-face relationships are healthy, you may have a problem.

The next time you find yourself on your social media sites feeling jealous, envious, or somehow less than the people on those pages, remember that people tend to present very biased accounts of their lives. They, like you, want to measure up to the rest of the world.

Know that every human being is essentially struggling to feel worthy of being alive. It’s something we all seem to have in common. Instead of trying to be better than each other, let’s all instead try to have more compassion for each other.

If you or someone you know is having a hard time with self-worth issues and you’d like to speak to someone, please reach out to me. I’d love to discuss how I may be able to help.

Filed Under: General

Common Excuses People Make to Keep Drinking

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For many people, drinking alcohol is something that is done on occasion and in moderation. Having a glass or two of champagne on New Year’s Eve or a cocktail out with friends is nothing to be concerned about.

For others, however, alcohol is not something one marks a special occasion with; it is the main event.

There are a variety of factors that can influence a person’s behavior when it comes to drinking such as genetics, biology and the environment. While the reasons one becomes addicted to alcohol can vary, what is consistent is a desire to keep drinking, despite being shown the devastation it is causing to their life.

Here are some of the most common excuses people make to keep drinking:

I’ll Lose My Friends if I Quit Drinking

Many a social life is based on partying and having a good time, and that typically includes drinking alcohol. This is especially true for younger people, who feel pressured to drink when they are around their friends. “No one will invite me to their parties if I refuse to drink.” “Everyone will think I’m weird or uptight if I’m the only one not drinking.”

While friends and associates may take notice, it’s important to realize that real friends will want to spend time with you no matter what. Those that don’t may have a drinking problem themselves and are uncomfortable around your healthy change in behavior.

Wine is Good for Me

While numerous studies have suggested consuming alcohol, red wine in particular, can benefit the heart and improve cholesterol levels, all speak of consuming in moderate amounts. In fact, a majority of US health agencies recommend no more than two drinks a day for men, and only one for women.

So, while some studies suggest drinking in moderation is good for health, the amount is really key. If you find you are drinking more than one or two glasses each day, you are no longer promoting health.

Drinking Relieves Stress

It’s no secret that stress can wreak havoc on our health. And no one can really blame a person if they want to somehow “take the edge off.” But alcohol consumption is not the healthiest ways to deal with stress. For those with unhealthy drinking behaviors, the one or two glasses needed to take that edge off turns into three, four and more. Stress and alcohol feed off of each other.

There are much healthier ways to alleviate stress such as meditation and yoga.

Quitting drinking is incredibly difficult, but, with the right support, it can be done. If you or a loved one has a drinking problem and is interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.

Filed Under: Addiction

4 Ways to Change Your Thoughts and Relieve Depression

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Did you know that on most days, the average person has between 25,000 and 50,000 thoughts? That’s an impressive amount of thoughts.

But when happens when the majority of these thoughts are negative? Imagine the impact on your psyche and your life if you had thousands and thousands of negative thoughts each day?

This amount of negative thinking is a hallmark of depression. Negative or pessimistic thinking is depression speaking for you. It is the voice of depression. What many people don’t realize is that depression is manifested in negative thinking before it ever creates a negative thought itself.

This is why it is imperative for those suffering from depression to become acutely aware of their thought patterns. If not checked, negative thinking becomes a habit, one that has the potential to completely shape your life.

Change How You Think

One of the most powerful ways people can lift themselves out of the darkness of depression is to change their thinking patterns. This is why cognitive therapy is such a profound change agent. The approach is based on the fact that thought-processing errors contribute to a depressed mood.

By changing how you think, you automatically change how you feel. Once you become aware that changing your thinking is important, you are presented with an active choice you can take to benefit your mental health.

I know. This sounds about as easy as changing a tire in the rain with nothing more than a hardboiled egg and a paper clip. But it can be done.

Here are some tips on how you can begin to change your negative thoughts:

Keep Track of Your Thoughts

Many people are in denial about their thought patterns. They don’t want to believe they are overly negative or pessimistic. Catching yourself and recording as many negative thoughts as you can will help you to see your own mental patterns.

What will these thoughts look like? You could write things like, “I hate my feet.” “My boss is an idiot.” “I hate spring.” “I hate getting up this early.” “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Be particularly mindful of making sweeping generalizations from one specific event. It’s a type of black and white thinking that can be particularly harmful.

Identify Triggers

Once you get an idea for the frequency of your negative thoughts, try and pinpoint the triggers for them. Your journal will also come in handy here, because it will point out certain types of events that set off a chain of negative thoughts. Triggers can include being rejected or ignored, or having an unkind remark said about or to you.

Positive Conversion

You have so far learned that the human thinking process is habitual. But the good news is, you can create good thinking habits.

To do this you’ve got to start converting all of those negative thoughts into positive ones. It will be hard at first, and you will most likely feel as if you’re lying to yourself and pretending to be a glass-half-full Pollyanna.

But, as they say, “You’ve got to fake it until you make it.” Though thinking positively may feel foreign to you and like a waste of your time, you are re-training your brain to think (and feel) good.

Every time you have a negative thought, stop, recognize it as negative, and immediately flip the switch and create the positive opposite thought in its place. This could look like:

Negative thought: “I’ll never get this report done on time.”

Positive Switch: “I’m making great progress and being careful to always check my work.”

To get the hang of how to do this, go through your negativity journal and create a separate column in which you will write the positive opposites of your many negative thoughts.

If you feel too dark and down to complete these exercises, please consider reaching out to a trained therapist who can prescribe medication, should you require it, and help you work through these struggles.

If you or a loved one are suffering from depression and are interested in exploring treatment options, please contact me. I would be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

Filed Under: Depression

5 Signs That You Might be Struggling with Anxiety

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It’s normal to feel anxious from time to time. Perhaps you get a bit nervous speaking in front of people or going on a job interview. But for some people, anxiety becomes a frequent and forceful occurrence that completely takes over their lives.

Since anxiety comes in many forms, for instance panic attacks, phobias and social anxiety, it can often be difficult to tell if what you’re experiencing is “normal” or has crossed the line into a mood disorder.

If you are experiencing any of the following symptoms, you may want to speak with a counselor who can help you cope with your anxiety.

Excessive Worry

General anxiety disorder (GAD), the broadest type of anxiety, is characterized by excessive worry. People with GAD worry too much about everyday things, both big and small. But what constitutes “too much worry?”

With GAD, people are plagued with persistent, anxious thoughts most days of the week. This anxiety can become so overwhelming it interferes with their daily life. If you are worrying to a degree that you have trouble doing daily tasks or it taking over more and more of your life, it may be time to speak with a therapist.

Trouble Sleeping

Sleep issues such as falling asleep or staying asleep have been associated with a myriad of health conditions, both physical and psychological. It’s normal for people to have trouble sleeping from time to time. Perhaps you find yourself tossing and turning before a big job interview or giving a presentation.

However, if you find yourself night after night lying awake, anxious about specific problems (such as relationship problems or financial difficulties), or even about nothing in particular, it may be a sign of an anxiety disorder.

Muscle Tension

Anxiety disorders can often be accompanied by persistent muscle tension. Do you find yourself clenching your jaw or balling your fists throughout the day? You may have lived with this chronic muscular tension for so long you don’t even realize it anymore. While exercise can help relax muscles, therapy will help you understand your anxiety and start to change it.

Digestive Problems

While anxiety lives in the mind, it is often manifested in the body through chronic digestive problems, such as irritable bowel syndrome. Our guts are very sensitive to emotional and psychological stress. Unfortunately, digestive upset can often make a person feel even more anxious.

Panic Attacks

Panic attacks can be a frightening experience. You are suddenly gripped with an overwhelming feeling of dread and fear. These are often accompanied by physical symptoms such as shortness of breath, racing heart, dizziness, and profuse sweating. Though not everyone who has an anxiety disorder will experience panic attacks, but those that do often struggle with fear of experiencing another attack.

Anxiety disorders keep people from living a joyful and fulfilling life. Luckily there is help. A therapist can assist in uncovering the root cause of the anxiety and offer tools to cope.

If you or a loved one is interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.

Filed Under: Anxiety

What Addiction Experts Wish Every Parent Knew

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Parenting is one of the toughest jobs in the world – if not the toughest. After all, children do not come with manuals or operating instructions. Looking for guidance, many parents turn to their own childhoods to pick up clues on how to raise children the right way, or at the very least, how not to raise them the wrong way.

But times change. Childhoods of just twenty or thirty years ago were vastly different than they are today. Modern kids, it seems, face more challenges and dangers thanks to the Internet and pressure from peers and the media to grow up way too fast. As a result, many kids turn to drugs and alcohol as a way to cope, fit in, and self-medicate.

While kids may not come with manuals, there are resources that can help parents raise them to be happy and healthy individuals and to avoid drug and alcohol addiction. Here are three things addiction experts want you to know:

1. The Longer You Can Keep Your Kids Away from Drugs, the Better

Numerous studies have confirmed that the younger a person begins experimenting with drugs and alcohol, the more likely they are to develop an addiction. For example, researchers found that nearly 40% of individuals who began using alcohol at or before the age of 14 developed dependence later in life, compared to only 10% who waited to drink until they were 21 or older.

This same pattern has been found with drug use. Each year of delay translates into a 5% decrease in risk of developing an addiction.

While the exact mechanism of this phenomenon isn’t entirely understood, what is known is that the brain is still developing well into a person’s mid-20s. Any change in structure or chemistry seems to make a child more vulnerable to drug and alcohol addiction later in life.

The takeaway here is this: The longer you can discourage your child from experimenting with drugs or alcohol the better.

2. The “European Model” Has No Validity

Some parents swear by what is called the “European Model” of drinking, where they allow their kids to have the occasional sip of alcohol at family events. The belief is that this teaches kids moderation and also demystifies alcohol, limiting its appeal and reducing the likelihood their kids will go “hog wild” later in life.

But this way of thinking is a relic of a bygone era. Today’s reality is that binge drinking is now a global epidemic. In fact, a survey conducted in 2011 found that a majority of European countries have higher intoxication rates among the young than America. In addition, European youth report getting drunk before the age of 13. Therefor the research concluded there is no evidence that a liberal drinking policy in the home reduced the likelihood of alcohol abuse.

Another long-term study of 561 middle school students found that those who were allowed to occasionally sip their parent’s beer or wine were four times more likely to binge drink once they reached high school.

The takeaway here is: while you may think you’re telling your children “drinking in moderation is okay…” what they may be hearing is, “my parents are okay with me drinking.”

3. Real Emotional Trouble May be Lurking Behind the Abuse

Many people experimented with drugs or alcohol growing up because they were curious, they’re friends were doing it, or they just wanted to appear cool. And it’s tempting for parents to assume that’s why their own child is experimenting now.

But it’s important for parents to understand that oftentimes, substance use is an attempt to self-medicate to escape sadness and depression. Adolescence is a time when mental health issues most commonly present themselves. For the first time in your child’s life they may feel anxious or depressed without knowing the cause or how to deal with these new feelings.

The key takeaway here is to pay attention. Your child’s substance use may not be about experimentation but rather a real cry for help.

If you suspect your child is using drugs or alcohol, speaking with a therapist can help both of you. If you’re interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.

Filed Under: Addiction

Ways that Compassion Can Help You Support a Loved One Suffering from Addiction

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It can often be difficult knowing how to navigate a relationship that is impacted by addiction. Often, loved ones are told that helping someone with an addiction issue means creating codependency, and that the best thing to do is show some “tough love,” even if that means walking away.

But is this really true?

Is there a better way to relate to a friend or family member who is struggling with addiction? Is there a form of love besides “tough love” that can help us help our loved ones?

Recent research has found that loved ones can play an important role in an individual’s recovery. While loved ones can’t change their friend or family member, there are things they can change about themselves that will benefit the relationship.

The most significant thing a person can do is to become more compassionate toward their loved one struggling with addiction. Compassion is key to recovery as it allows a person to love a friend or family member without unintentionally condoning (enabling) their behavior.

Why Compassion is so Powerful in Recovery

When we offer a loved one genuine compassion, we voluntarily join them in their suffering and give them profound gifts that can be catalysts toward real healing and recovery.

Being compassionate means:

We See Them

Compassion allows us to really see our loved one and the suffering they are going through.

We Hear Them

All humans need to be heard, but those with substance abuse issues often feel they go unheard. Compassion allows us to talk less and listen more.

We Validate Them

To see and to hear are not enough, we must also let our loved ones know they have a right to express their pain, anger, sadness, or any other emotion they are feeling. Too often, friends and family members ignore or minimize their loved one’s suffering. Compassionate helps us validate the person.

We Comfort Them

Whether it’s physical, mental, or emotional pain, sufferers need to be comforted. Compassion guides us and helps us provide our loved ones with comfort through a loving touch, knowing glance, or a few kinds words.

It is also incredibly important to be compassionate toward yourself during your loved one’s recovery. Self-compassion asks that we treat ourselves kindly; that we see, hear, validate and show ourselves the same comfort we show our loved one. 

If you or a loved one is suffering with addiction and interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.

Filed Under: Addiction